Social Media is dangerous

[sunny]

Ugh, "branding."
We have to be professional enough in real life, why did we decide we need to be professional on the web too?

Exactly! I just want to be unabashedly me, fuck an employer, they don't define me. And what I do on the internet does not have to make money in order for me to be considered productive. I don't even have to be considered productive. As long as I am happy with what I do and I'm not hurting anyone, I can be free to express myself on the internet.

[Nightdrift]

Ugh, "branding."
We have to be professional enough in real life, why did we decide we need to be professional on the web too?

Exactly! I just want to be unabashedly me, fuck an employer, they don't define me. And what I do on the internet does not have to make money in order for me to be considered productive. I don't even have to be considered productive. As long as I am happy with what I do and I'm not hurting anyone, I can be free to express myself on the internet.

Thirding. This is sometimes a point of minor stress for me -- not that I think I've done anything crazy on or offline to jeopardize potential employment lol, but I still I don't enjoy that professionalism in the digital age sometimes has that extra layer of "oh, let's see what this person does in their spare time" -- I don't intend to bring my personal baggage to the job, don't trouble yourself with it >;T
I don't think anyone goes online to just continue wearing a professional persona, unless it's part of their actual business

[sunny]

I don't enjoy that professionalism in the digital age sometimes has that extra layer of "oh, let's see what this person does in their spare time" -- I don't intend to bring my personal baggage to the job, don't trouble yourself with it >;T

For real, it's none of their business what we do in our spare time. If I want to shitpost "tasteless" memes all day long on Facebook for the four people that appreciate it and regularly interact with them on a daily basis, why does an employer (or my grandmother, come to think of it) care at all?

Note to self: make a shitpost page with all my favorite memes.

[Cobra!]

And here people are on this new resurgence of the personal web who are just doing what they want, and it doesn't matter that their websites aren't sleek and new looking, it matters that their websites look good to them and that they are putting out there what they want, not squeezing themselves into a gated community that thrives on both over-sharing and isolation.

Yeah, I don't feel like I'm competing with anyone else here like I would be on Twitter, but instead, we just coexist. In a way, we're even working together to create a better web!

I wasn't sure about this Facebook thing, as I've been taught in school not to share your personal information online, because people can use it to abduct you. And now everyone is using it?

Yeah, Social Media makes us do exactly what we were raised not to do!
Don't share personal data online? It's okay if it's to Facebook!
Life isn't a popularity contest? Twitter and Instagram says it is now!
And now the Metaverse is doing the same for talking to people in virtual worlds in Second Life, VRChat, etc.
People used to be seen as "sad" or having no life if they used those. Suddenly it's acceptable. Almost as if they were just mad that they weren't profiting from our escapism, but that's another topic for another day.

And to make things worse, if you post something on Facebook then your FAMILY AND FRIENDS WOULD KNOW. Even if you change your profile picture THEY WOULD KNOW. Once time, I changed my profile picture to a Pokemon Sprite of a Wailord/Heracross fusion and my sister got made at me for it. She said it would make me look bad when people look for me for a job interview.

Can't have an embarrassing Facebook profile if you don't have a Facebook profile

And please don't get me started on TikTok. I went there to see what the fuss is about, and it was the worst decision of my life. My mum caught me using TikTok one time and told me not to use anymore because I should be doing things that are more productive than the 'crazy shit' that I watched on TikTok. I stopped using TikTok that day, and I could not thank her enough!

That sounds like the most responsible parent in this day and age. My parents, and I'm sure many others' too, had that attitude before Facebook. Went from ageing badly to ageing well again, at least as far as social media goes!

[ellievoyyd]

Yea my expereince with this personally has been terrible. i'd say identifying like the top problems are like

• Fomo when friends post pics hanging out without u leading to depression/insecurity
• LITERALLY ADDICTIVE like, need for a dopamine rush from notifications/messages
• selfies and stuff that pretty much just makes ppl feel better abt themselves by being cooler/hotter than others
• TMI with ppl i know IRL like... idk just sharing weird personal stuff that is inappropriate and shouldn't be public.... just a general like, lack of understanding of boundaries as a result...
• group chats on facebook etc being a source of paranoia (common and infamous group chats where ppl get sh*t-talk people behind there back)
• employers and cops using it (i got arrested as a minor for social media posts - specifically just pics of me trespassing a train yard..)

maybe i am more sensitive that other ppl, i do have schizophrenia apparently:dunno:? but when i quit facebook i literally was in AGONY for the first 2 months or so, like i was SO depressed, SO depersonalized and nothing felt real anymore, which caused me panic attacks and stuff...


just the pure shock of not having social media anymore to distract u from IRL reality, really messed with me. learning to sit in silence with yourself, meditatively, i know is extremely hard for people who use social media! :'(

i genuinely think some day it will be widely understood that social media is harmful and addictive in the same way as cigarettes, drugs, gambling etc. ideally, there should be lawsuits against the companies that profit from this mental harm, but that is not likely

[di]

i genuinely think some day it will be widely understood that social media is harmful and addictive in the same way as cigarettes, drugs, gambling etc. ideally, there should be lawsuits against the companies that profit from this mental harm, but that is not likely

I really feel for you, and I certainly wish that was so. :'( It's all so new and ubiquitous that there's rarely education or warnings about it.

I shouldn't have been on it as a teen (even younger). It's hard enough being young without pretending we're celebrities online! A few years ago, I thought I was somehow immune to peer pressure. Looking back, now that I've quit social media, of course I wasn't -- it was just mostly digital, so I didn't think about it.

[Cobra!]

I know those feelings too well, though it wasn't as severe for me, I guess since I eased off them, quit one at a time, instead of going cold turkey.

I've noticed that now I feel like I have so much time to work on my game project, and can do much more in a day! I had made a list at the start of the month on what I wanted to achieve in that month. I got through them all in 10 days. Now I'm just fixing any bugs or oddities here and there, and finishing things off.

[dokodemo]

I thought I was the only one who felt this way.
A couple years ago I decided to put down social media entirely due to personal reasons and I was actually able to stay away from any and all social networking sites (besides Youtube and Discord, if those count) for about a year. I ended up having to go back though because the loneliness was eating me alive, as I'm unemployed and had little to no irl friends at that time. Though, I did feel happier during the majority of that year. That's around the time I discovered Neocities, since I was spending more time on my computer browsing the web and staying away from social media platforms. I decided to make a site to interact with people, thinking I would've left after a while. I've been here for around 3 years now, which is really weird to think about. I consider this place my home now and I actually spend more time here than on social media. Well unless I'm in bed, I usually spend early mornings and late nights mindlessly scrolling through posts.
I feel like staying away from social media would be so much easier if people were inclined to explore the web. Everyone crowds on sites like Instagram, Twitter, Discord, because that's where their friends are. One of my close friends told me she only uses Discord to talk to me, which is weird, because, I really only use Discord to talk to her as well as two other folks but that's about it. It's basically hardwired into everyone's brains at this point that social media is The Place To Be to interact. No one ever thinks about sending a text message or even an e-mail anymore, even though everyone has the ability to.

[easy_breezy]

I thought I was the only one who felt this way.
A couple years ago I decided to put down social media entirely due to personal reasons and I was actually able to stay away from any and all social networking sites (besides Youtube and Discord, if those count) for about a year. I ended up having to go back though because the loneliness was eating me alive, as I'm unemployed and had little to no irl friends at that time. Though, I did feel happier during the majority of that year. That's around the time I discovered Neocities, since I was spending more time on my computer browsing the web and staying away from social media platforms. I decided to make a site to interact with people, thinking I would've left after a while. I've been here for around 3 years now, which is really weird to think about. I consider this place my home now and I actually spend more time here than on social media. Well unless I'm in bed, I usually spend early mornings and late nights mindlessly scrolling through posts.
I feel like staying away from social media would be so much easier if people were inclined to explore the web. Everyone crowds on sites like Instagram, Twitter, Discord, because that's where their friends are. One of my close friends told me she only uses Discord to talk to me, which is weird, because, I really only use Discord to talk to her as well as two other folks but that's about it. It's basically hardwired into everyone's brains at this point that social media is The Place To Be to interact. No one ever thinks about sending a text message or even an e-mail anymore, even though everyone has the ability to.

I've seen that before, The reason why youtube can't be beat by competitors is because all the big guys are on it and can't move lest they risk their viewership and monetization.

[di]

I've noticed that now I feel like I have so much time to work on my game project, and can do much more in a day! I had made a list at the start of the month on what I wanted to achieve in that month. I got through them all in 10 days. Now I'm just fixing any bugs or oddities here and there, and finishing things off.

I feel the same way! Not to seem like I'm giving a testimonial (okay maybe I am a bit), but now that I'm not constantly opening up a Pandora's box of junk content and poorly-worded opinions, I actually have time for hobbies, and thinking up new ideas, and reading stuff that actually requires effort to write..

Everyone crowds on sites like Instagram, Twitter, Discord, because that's where their friends are. ... It's basically hardwired into everyone's brains at this point that social media is The Place To Be to interact. No one ever thinks about sending a text message or even an e-mail anymore, even though everyone has the ability to.

I feel this. The single thing I regret about leaving Instagram is kind of losing touch with a friend of mine. Then again all we were really doing was forwarding random content back and forth. The app makes it very easy to do that, so it doesn't mean that much... still, it's nice to know someone's thinking of you in some way, even if just for a blip.

And you're so right. No one thinks to text, just DMs on social media instead. I guess not using social media makes it harder to have an "excuse" to chat somebody up. And texting feels more "intimate" now for some reason...

Mostly, I'm just getting used to not having constant notifications anymore. It's kind of nice, but my brain is still hard-wired to think that's wrong somehow.

Anyway, not to hijack the thread , but since it's on-topic I thought I'd share the zine I recently made about social media. It's on my site if anyone wants to check it out.

[Cobra!]

I've started to notice that if I see a political Tweet on Twitter regardless of the political alignment of the owner, you'll always see Tweets from opposing sides, most of which are making remarks and insults. Starting to believe that Twitter is doing this on purpose, since the algorithm benefits from anger as it results in more engagement.

Would also explain why Twitter seems to be the hub for arguments and people getting angry over nothing.

Meanwhile, I've bought a bunch of VHS tapes (Particularly Simpsons, as I've been in a mood for that lately) and made a habit of watching them as I'm in bed instead of going on my Ipad. It actually feels really nice, and I get to sleep quicker!

[KAFKAPOLIS]

Oh lord, big post incoming since I have a lot of thoughts on this topic. Might be convoluted at times so please bear with me.

As someone who's been in communities that THRIVE in social media (or are based on it), I can confidently say that social media as a whole has severely impacted my mental health and self-esteem in the most negative way possible. I used to go on Twitter every hour of the day scrolling mindlessly, and it was ALWAYS the posts with hot takes/drama/callouts that got me hooked that I eventually used Twitter for seeing the Drama of the Day and that alone.

Big mistake of course, and it took 5-6 years for me to realize that social media as a whole is a hellish breeding ground for negativity and drama, and is designed that way to piss you off and profit off of your anger. The experiences I've seen in the community were also full of drama that I eventually started to hate it, and I sometimes reacted badly to what was happening before I got some clarification on what happened. Literally a lot of people on social media are so quick to believe something without researching it and would rather jump to conclusions and take that as the definitive truth, which a lot of people do unfortunately. I feel like this way of thinking is why there's so much drama on social media, but keep in mind that's just coming from my experiences. And I've noticed that the people who engage in this drama are often minors and young adults who engage in drama and other activities.

Regardless, I thought I was supposed to be satisfied with using social media since that's what the cool kids do nowadays. I saw my former friends getting "cancelled" on Twitter and eventually getting "ostracized" from the Internet as a whole (is that even a thing? LOL) and it was non-stop. I could literally trust no one in the communities I was in. Also, considering that people are glued to social media like magnets, is it just me or whenever these people say that "X does not deserve to be on this platform," I have a weird stomach feeling that these people trust (and love) this platform, even if it is corporate-owned? It's really unnerving to see that people trust corporate-operated social media like Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, and so on, but like... corporations are never your friend and never were in the first place... I suppose it's a situational kind of thing depending on the person, thing, event, etc. that is the hot topic.

I also find it weird that people who have too much time in their hands will track down those who got cancelled under a name and then "cancel" them again by bringing up past drama. What if this person that got "cancelled" actually learned from their actions and changed as a better person? I suppose the people who are cancelling the "cancelled" never saw them change and are only operating on information that was given to them about the past bad actions. It's just disheartening because people want to prove that they are growing as better people, and others attempt to reverse this change by bringing up about the past. It's just.. not a good look at all. Some people do slip up as they change, and change isn't linear. As long as someone is still willing to change and are willing to make an actual effort in doing so, then that's what matters the most.

When it comes to posting on social media, I used to be extremely jealous of my friends' posts getting more traction than mine, not to mention that if you want to be successful as an artist/content creator, you gotta hop on a trend or you risk being obscure forever unless you do something groundbreaking. The algorithms of social media make it worse, and the content you've worked so hard on gets shoved away from the public eye. My work often gets shoved away constantly unless I do something, and it made me and my content feel worthless as a result. You have to put tag, keywords and so on to have your work noticed, and it would often backfire unless a miracle happened. I was even demotivated that I couldn't post anything new for months at point. I hated that I viewed my close friends as rivals when it came to art and so on. In social media, the first thing you unconsciously do is try to get popular or else you'll fail trying to. It makes you feel miserable if the content you created never ever succeeds later on and it makes you wonder where you went wrong when it's the algorithms that are making you suffer. I suppose social media serves to make you angry with the drama if shoves into your face and takes the spotlight away from you every time you post content you made, all while the corporations that manage those platforms profit off of your suffering.

And there's another part of social media that scares me a lot, but it's the one part that makes me scared for the people that frequent the Internet: putting sensitive information in social media. This often happens on sites, specifically Carrd. I'm sure any person with common sense or have taken cybersecurity would know that putting any sensitive information online would be dangerous. Putting out first (and last) names, ages, genders, and birthdays are fine! But when it comes to putting out REALLY sensitive information like phone numbers or addresses, that's when people are really risking their security. I've heard instances of people putting out that kind of information and it makes me shocked. I find it weird to share sensitive information because on one hand, people may use that information against you.

With all of that into account, this started to make me think that social media isn't... social media. It's just a platform where people fight and where people try to become popular by saying hot takes or become "saviours" by posting callouts about someone or something. Artists are often left unnoticed unless they're popular or do something groundbreaking like starting or hopping on a trend. On the other side, I suppose that social media is one way to get your work out there, but other than that, it doesn't do much. Using social media is like you're under surveillance; you have to be perfect in the eyes of the public. And if you screw up, you will be cancelled with no mercy, and even if you try to apologize genuinely for the mistake you have committed, people will drag you to the end with no remorse until they've had their victory. It's one strike and you're out. People use corporate social media like Twitter because it's familiar to them and that's where most if not all of their friends are. If a platform is not familiar to them or it's not what most of their friends use, then they won't use it either. It's sad because if no one wants to make the move to somewhere else, then the change won't ever happen.

I decided that I had enough and deactivated the majority of my social media accounts. I only have Twitter up for posting my works and projects, but my access to the site is limited via Leechblock. I can't access any part of the site but the posting function. I can't access my profile except the editing part. That way, I don't have to look at whatever is happening on Twitter and feel miserable from it. I've been treating Twitter as a tool instead of social media. I've picked up Neocities again after abandoning it for some while, and it has went through some massive changes since then. I think it was through Neocities that I found the Yesterweb and started interacting with the community. Hell, I even started using Mastodon in place of Twitter and if I had to choose between the two, I'd pick Mastodon. I use SoundCloud, YouTube, NicoNicoDouga, and BiliBili for posting covers and other video content.

Since deactivating my social media, I've started to notice and learn some things:

• I've had more time to focus on the projects and I work instead of using social media every single hour; I got too much time taken away from Twitter and TikTok
• I don't have to see whatever is going on in Twitter and TikTok
• I've stuck with friends who've been there with me and back; reconciled with some and make some friendships stronger than before
• My self-esteem and increased and I've learned to love myself more instead of hating myself for a period of 3-4 years
• I don't have to be pressured on what I create, I can just take it easy
• I feel like I'm creating things for myself instead of creating for the public; there's no pressure whatsoever
• Playing games in my free time has allowed my to destress and actually have some fun for once
• It's okay to enjoy something without being in a community centered around it
• I have time for other hobbies I haven't done in so long

That's what I have to say on this topic. I know it's a lot, but knowing that I've been tormented by social media for too long, social media as a whole is is like asking yourself to be hurt when you just want to be loved and accepted in a time where most people try to be popular through any means and not form genuine friendships/relationships. If there's anything that I said that was unclear, just let me know. I'm juggling through three things at the time of writing this post.

[Kutan]

There's not a single thing in there I disagree with, Hiraeth. The distrust, the jealousy, the "never forgive, never forget" mentality, the algorithm guiding you towards "engagement" by suggesting upsetting content.

I signed up for Twitter to stay notified about my hobbies, and I ended up in a warzone. It took me a while to realize it, but I managed to get recruited to a "side," and I started viewing my old acquaintances in terms of "us" or "them." I was going on Twitter just to be upset, and I was using the List feature to stealth-follow tons of people I disagreed with, just so I could silently be mad at what they were saying. And it made me distrust new faces in my daily, real life; if they hadn't proven some kind of allegiance, I assumed "ah, this person would hate me if they knew me." People on Twitter are so vicious with their threats, dogpiling, and weaponizing of personal info, I felt like if I got close to someone and they turned out to be on the side of them, surely they'd enact the same kind of retribution on me.

It was really, really miserable, and I'm glad I made a clean break. I feel like I'm more fortunate than most, since that whole period for me was only a year and a half or so-- but my mom, for example, has made herself miserable going down the rabbit hole, and it's been hard to watch.

[Darmodej]

i feel like it's possible and even pleasant to use it if you know how to curate things well (blocklists, chronological timeline only, tracking blockers, ublocking the trending tab and only interacting with friends)
as in yin-yang, there are always good things in the bad things. for twitter, for example, it's the artists, especially japanese
tumblr is still alive despite the 2019 purge, and i feel like it's only gotten better as all the crazy discourse has moved to twitter

but there's no denying of its harmful parts to people who aren't in the know, especially to younger/neuroatypical folks
learning the ways and getting resistant to the temptation to the drama cycle is a painful way on its own. what doesn't kill you may make you stronger but it could have also horrifically mentally maimed you

also, while algorithms exacerbate that, i feel like a large part of the toxic parts of sm are from its sheer size. things happen faster, there's more hype, there's fighting for attention, your grandma is there. some of these things happen on large non-sm communities, such as large forums like resetera or [auto redacted] or the "stereotypical" big discord server

[Darmodej]

Thanks @Cobra for creating a very interesting thread. It's funny you mention https://midnight.pub. It's a place I created almost two years ago, out of frustration of social media. I don't think social media is bad, but I think the current landscape is. There are dubious questions around how data is being handled and potentially monetize, or how algorithms can influence the mind of members. As Nightdrift said, it's a heavy topic.

woooaah, i didn't know that you created midnightpub  
thank you so much for providing me with stuff to read on bus commutes/when not paying attention in class

i Really like the writing style of the users there, reminds me of a couple of people from a forum i used as a kid